Springs in the Valley

Psalm 84 is beautiful.  If you don't know what I'm talking about, you should drop your computer right now and go find a bible and open it up to that passage.  Ok, since I don't want you to go breaking your computer on me, I'll just give you the passage:

How lovely is your dwelling place,

O LORD of hosts!

2My soul longs, yes, faints

for the courts of the LORD;

my heart and flesh sing for joy

to the living God.

3Even the sparrow finds a home,

and the swallow a nest for herself,

where she may lay her young,

at your altars, O LORD of hosts,

my King and my God.

4Blessed are those who dwell in your house,

ever singing your praise! Selah

5Blessed are those whose strength is in you,

in whose heart are the highways to Zion.b

6As they go through the Valley of Baca

they make it a place of springs;

the early rain also covers it with pools.

7They go from strength to strength;

each one appears before God in Zion.

8O LORD God of hosts, hear my prayer;

give ear, O God of Jacob! Selah

9Behold our shield, O God;

look on the face of your anointed!

10For a day in your courts is better

than a thousand elsewhere.

I would rather be a doorkeeper in the house of my God

than dwell in the tents of wickedness.

11For the LORD God is a sun and shield;

the LORD bestows favor and honor.

No good thing does he withhold

from those who walk uprightly.

12O LORD of hosts,

blessed is the one who trusts in you!

See what I mean?  So much goodness in there!  One part in particular, though, is really speaking to me lately.  Verses five and six say:

"5Blessed are those whose strength is in you,

in whose heart are the highways to Zion.b

6As they go through the Valley of Baca

they make it a place of springs."

Being the nerdy English major that I am, I had to unpack the figurative language in there.  Let start with the springs.  A spring is the place where water comes from.  There is a lot of water imagery in the Psalms.  Water is refreshing.  Water allows people, animal, and plants to live.  You could say it brings life.  Water represents baptism--entering a new life with Christ.  Water represents the Holy Spirit.  Water can be peace, or joy, or refreshment, or renewal, or change.  

 Then there is the valley.  A valley is usually referring to something bad.  Mountain tops usually mean success or good times or closeness with God.  A valley is in between the mountain peaks.  It could represent the good times between the bad.  The bible relates a valley to death and darkness.  A valley could be a place that seems far away from God.  A place where evil is occurring.  A place that is unholy, and broken.  

When I put that together, I read this passage as people who abide in Jesus can pass through a dark place, and make it a place that is life-bringing.  They get in the midst of hardships, and brokenness, and evil, and bring the Holy Spirit, and peace, and joy, and refreshment, and growth.  

That is my desire.  I desire to go to a broken place and bring life.  I desire to get my hands in the messiness and watch God's Spirit work.  I don't know what that will look like.  Maybe that means helping to bring hope to a broken school.  Maybe that means bringing the Holy Spirit to a bad part of town.  Maybe that means moving to the inner city and interacting with the poor, needy, and broken.  

All I know is that God has given me a desire to go through the valley and make it a place of springs.

I Am Not Enough

Dear Students,

I am not enough for you.  Every day I come to school with carefully considered plans.  I do my best to allow you to move--because I know you need it--to give you opportunities to share yourself, to make sure that you get what we're learning.  Even if you are still learning English.  Even if you have a learning disability.  Even if English is just tough for you the way that Math is tough for me.  Yet I look into your needy eyes and I am so aware of it.  You are desperately seeking love.  I know because you tell me your stories.  I know because you act out in class.  I know because, if I'm honest, I'm desperate for love and attention just like you.  Students, even though I wear myself out every day trying, I cannot give you the love that you are looking for.  Only Jesus can do that.  So, I pray that one day you will meet him.  That you will know, feel, experience his love.  That his grace will soak into all your broken places and make you whole.  But until that day, I will keep trying to show you just a glimpse of him.  I will pray over your desks.  I will smile at you and greet you at the door.  I will try my best to listen to your stories, to help you grow, and to not lose my patience with you.  And on that day when I let you down, I will remind myself that it's okay, because though I am not enough for you, my Jesus is more than enough.

Love,

Your (especially-tired-this-time-of-year) Teacher

Would you like a slice of humble pie with that?

If you are feeling sad about how small your bank account is this month, the Lord just might put someone who is experiencing homelessness in front of you at church.  If you are annoyed with someone, the Lord just might use that person to pray for you.  In short, Jesus ain't afraid to serve you up a slice of humble pie when you need it.

Sometimes, what I get out of church has very little to do with the sermon.  I have recently been grieving our financial situation.  You see, Philip got a very small summer school paycheck last month.  He won't get his real teacher paycheck until the end of September.  That means roughing it for a couple of month.  Plus, little expenses come up.  Or maybe they're little to you.  They would have been little to me a few months ago, but at this point they felt colossal.  In a serious of freak events we had two flat tires in a row, which added up to a bill of close to $400.  To top that off, Philip and I have been irresponsible with our budget lately.  We've gotten used to having money.  If we wanted something, we bought it.  (okay by we, I mostly mean me).  If we wanted to go do something that costed money, we did it.  Because we usually have money.  This lead to draining our savings and even some of our Emergency Fund.

Fast forward to church.  I looked up and I saw him.  A young man who I know is currently living in a car.  Philip met him a couple of Sundays ago, and he spilled his guts about everything he was going through.  Seeing him sitting in front of us wrecked me.  I began to weep. This time, not in sorrow for my poor self, but mourning my selfish, materialistic heart.

Then, I knew I wanted to ask for prayer because the school year was coming and I was experiencing a lot of fear.  I looked up and saw her.  A woman who got on my nerves.  I didn't have a reason in particular.  It was just something about her that seemed fake to me.  She was the woman nearest me on the prayer team.  Everyone else quickly filled up, yet she was available.  That's when I knew that God wanted me to get prayer from her.  So I reluctantly made my way to the front.  She began to pray for me and I felt encouraged and loved.  My hope for the school year was restored.

Jesus gently reminds me when I am kind of being a brat.  I'm thankful that he doesn't just let me go on being prideful.  He often turns my perspective upside down.  He disciplines when I need it.  What a good dad.