I was a Type 2

There are 2 types of nonbelievers. Ok there are lots of types, just like there are lots of types of people. But in college, and as far as what they use to fill themselves, most of the people I've met who don't follow Christ fall into one of these 2 categories.

Type 1: The Partier. This is the WAZZU stereotype. The person that uses drugs, sex and rock and roll to try to fill the God-shaped vacuum in their heart. People that drink 'til they're numb, bump and grind with strangers on the dance floor, use sex to gain excitement, intimacy, self esteem. This person is the most common type in Streit (the dorm I live in). And while as a freshman I stuck up my nose at these people, now they really break my heart. I nearly cry when I see that girl walking home from a party late Thursday, Friday and Saturday by herself wearing almost nothing. I know what she's thinking! She wants to be loved, noticed, to feel beautiful. And she uses her body to seek a reaction in men on campus. The scary thing is that there's something about her that seems appealing to me. Part of me wants to look like that, to have my body on display. I believe that the desire to be captivating is deeply embedded in a woman's heart. It is a desire that God wants to fulfill. Someday it will be exciting to have my body celebrated by my husband (hope I didn't make you go ew), but I am already so celebrated! For the bible tells me so: "Is that a joyous choir I hear? No it is the Lord Himself exulting over you in happy song" Zephaniah 3:17, "I will praise You for I am remarkably and wonderfully made" Psalm 139:14, "For He chose us in Him, before the foundation of the world, to be holy and blameless in His sight. In love He predestined us to be adopted through Jesus Christ for Himself, according to His favor and will, to the praise of His glorious grace that He favored us with the Beloved." Ephesians 1:3-6

Then there's Type 2: The Achiever. This type uses success: in school, their relationships, extra curricular activities, even "doing the right thing" to fulfill them. The dangerous thing about this type is that they are often overlooked. As a freshman I was puzzled by my non-Christian friends who had good morals and did well in school. They sure didn't look like they needed Jesus. But the truth is that they are searching and striving just as much as Type 1. I can relate the most with this type. When I'm not trusting in Jesus I revert right back to this. In high school I loved to think of myself as the yearbook editor/band vice president/key club president/Soccer Most Inspirational/Wrestling Pioneer and team captain/Teens Against Tobacco Use member/kids soccer coach etc. etc. etc. Then I came to college and this was all stripped away from me. Achievements are such an instable place to put your identity. It's like putting your life savings in a ziplock baggy and floating it out to sea, hoping it will survive. "For what does a man get with all his work and all his efforts that he labors with under the sun? For all his days are filled with grief and his occupation is sorrowful; even at night, his mind does not rest. This too is futile." Ecclesiastes 2:22-23.

Not one of these ways of seeking fulfillment is better than the other.  Both let us down.  And both are sin, bring death.  What then can bring humanity the fulfillment and satisfaction they are constantly searching for? Once at Ross Point Camp Jesus spoke to me about this. He emptied me of all the success I turn to for wholeness. I couldn't pass the swim test (athlete Chelsea) I wasn't the center of attention in my cabin (popular Chelsea) it seemed like I couldn't do anything right (good at stuff Chelsea). Jesus looked me in the eyes and said "You are not worthless You are mine," and for the first time I believed Him. I believe that the only way for us to satisfy the thirsts we're dying of is to take a look at ourselves through Christ's eyes. We must, "comprehend with all the saints what is the length and width, height and depth of God's love, and to know the Messiah's love that surpasses all knowledge, so you may be filled with all the fullness of God." Ephesians 3:17-19