Three Months

To be honest, I used to find it kind of annoying when moms said things like, "My baby is growing up too fast!" or "Slow down!"  or "Stop growing!"  I thought, "Growth is a good thing."  I relished growth.  Growth was the whole premise of my job as a teacher.  So what were these people talking about?

And yet, here I am today, wondering how my baby could possibly be three months old.  Here I am feeling sad that he will never fall asleep on my chest again, wondering if I held him enough when he was a newborn.  Here I am baffled that his 0-3 month pajamas are starting to get too tight, when I can so vividly remember his floppy newborn pajamas drooping off his feet at the ends.

 It is crazy to think that you only get ONE YEAR to experience your child as a baby.  One year.  That's it.  Sure, they'll still be cute as they grow, and each stage has it's joys and struggles.  But this unique, precious, baby stage has an expiration date.  Even though, at three months in, this is already the hardest thing I've ever done, I want to embrace and enjoy it.  I want to soak up every moment.  Because you never know when will be the last time he relaxes onto your chest and falls sound asleep.  They don't give you a warning.  You don't see it coming.  It happens when you blink.    

So I'll just say it, "My baby is growing up too fast."  While I'm happy about his progress, and I've found him only more delightful as time goes on, I can't say that I won't try to slow this process down.  Just a little bit.  Just in my mind.