Tuesday, August 9, 2016

On the Rocks

(I wrote those post pre-baby being born and am just getting around to posting it now)

Matthew 7:24-27  English Standard Version (ESV)

Build Your House on the Rock

24 “Everyone then who hears these words of mine and does them will be like a wise man who built his house on the rock. 25 And the rain fell, and the floods came, and the winds blew and beat on that house, but it did not fall, because it had been founded on the rock. 26 And everyone who hears these words of mine and does not do them will be like a foolish man who built his house on the sand. 27 And the rain fell, and the floods came, and the winds blew and beat against that house, and it fell, and great was the fall of it.”

I have been having daily quiet times--a chunk of time spent in prayer and reading the bible--for over a year now.  I don't say that to brag.  Believe me, I have struggled so many times in my life to be disciplined in this practice.  I've found that whenever life changes I have to struggle to get into the routine again.  I have to find something that works with my new schedule, energy levels, etc.  So, I'm sure I'll have to figure things out all over again after baby is born.

I started really having success with it when I was in college.  I got involved with a Christian Ministry called CRU, and some older women invested me and taught me how to have fruitful quiet times.

Since then, I would say that I've consistently been in the word and prayer.  I have not always spent that time every day.  I have not always enjoyed that time.  I have not always been focused while having that time.  There were times when "consistent" meant, two, three, or even one time a week.  But I have not gone a period of being away from the word or prayer since then.

 For the past year or so, though, I have had a quiet time almost every day.  This season of my life meant getting up early to spend time with God--something I once believed I could never do.  To say I'm not a morning person is an understatement.  I had tried spending time with God in the evenings after work.  That was a disaster.  My brain was so befuddled that I found myself spacing off more than paying attention.  I would often drift from my bible app to my facebook app because what I really wanted was something to numb my mind.  One day I felt God ask me to try morning quiet times.  I was not happy about this.  But I tried.  Sometimes I would sleep through my alarm.  Other times, I would head downstairs, feed the dog, make myself some chai tea, and curl up on the couch with my ipad open to the bible.  Finally, I was able to make this a habit.  After a while, my husband starting waking up early to work out (and have quiet time) so with him out of the bedroom I could have my QT laying in bed.  This was perfect, especially for early pregnancy when I was feeling nausea first thing in the morning.

The other day I reflected on this, and quite honestly wondered, "Has it been worth it?"  I always thought that time in the bible and prayer were key to personal growth in relationship with God.  Sometimes, though I envision quiet time as a "fix-all."  Like, all my problems will go away if I just spend time with God.  I do think there is a shred of truth to this--I think that abiding in God is key to health in lots of areas.  I looked at myself and my life and thought, "Well I'm still a hot mess."  Maybe it wasn't working?

God brought my attention to the above passage.  I am about to enter a season that I know will be difficult.  Just transitioning into something new always throws me for a loop.  Change can be a hard pill to swallow.  In fact I might need to hide it in a spoonful of ice cream like my mom used to do when with medicine growing up.  Plus I have heard that few things are tougher than parenting and especially parenting someone who doesn't know how to sleep through the night or feed themselves or use a toilet.  God reminded me that my quiet times have been producing fruit.  He reassured me that as "the rain" of this new season fell that I would not be shaken because I have built a foundation on his word.  I think it's important to persevere with what God asks us to do even if it doesn't always seem like it's producing results.  I take comfort in knowing that God is going to take care of me through the trials to come.  Things may be difficult, but I will not crumble.

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