Bugs in Our Rice

I know, it's disgusting, it's traumatizing, but it's true. Creepy crawlies invading a box of instant rice could happen to anyone. But to me it symbolized one thing: poverty.

Something happened last week that I haven't shared with you. Phil and I came into this marriage with high expectations for our financial life. We want to honor God with what we have. We want to view money the way He views it--as a gift from Him that we need to spend thoughtfully. We want to spend according principals we find in the bible, and wise counsel from smart, older friends. So a few days ago we sat down and hammered out a budget. That means that for the past month or so our spending has been unbridled, sporadic, willy-nilly. Most of what we had is gone. Don't get me wrong, we're not starving (or actually eating the rice with bugs), and we even had enough to buy our books for school. The point is that we were irresponsible and greedy. And if it weren't for a turn of events, we probably wouldn't even have noticed.

Philip was due to receive a financial aid check at the start of school that's lofty enough to cover rent, books, food and then some. That check went MIA. It was stuck in limbo, pending the review of documents he turned in--months ago!  We believe that God in, His sovereignty and grace, orchestrated this to help us grow. Sure, it was painful at first. After awhile, though, we realized that God wasn't willing to just leave us in our decaying way of life. Instead He used this situation to grab our attention, and help us remember our initial plan about money. Because of this, we took a second look at our hearts and at our finances.

For me personally, that revealed that I had been missing out on the love God had been lavishing on me because of a constant desire to have more. Everything in this apartment is a direct result of generosity. Friends, family, coworkers gave us all our furniture (hand-me-down, but still nice quality). Our whole apartment is stocked with cooking gear, appliances, decor, totally from the hands of friends as wedding gifts. Phil's dad was openhanded enough to let us "go shopping" in his pantry. (That is incidentally how we ended up with the old rice that had bugs in it--but still). The night ended with Philip and I sitting on the floor holding each other and worshipping God, singing the song, "How He Loves." That morning before I left the house my prayer was, "Give me Your eyes." In a way I never expected--or really wanted, to be honest--I got a glimpse into the way He sees things. Everything is backwards! Instead of wanting to be richer or have nicer things, I can be overwhelmingly thankful for everything that I have because, in truth, I don't deserve it.  I pray that we might keep our eyes on the Kingdom of God and see things the way He does.  For me, that changes everything.   

What changes your perspective?