Monday, September 17, 2012

The Introvert Fell in Love with the Extrovert

I bet that no one that knows Phil and I would guess that there are moments in our marriage where in my head I am saying, “Please just stop talking!”  But it’s true.  My husband is what we lovingly call a “reserved extrovert.”  Yes, he is quiet.  But he gets energized by being around people.  He loves being around tons of stimulation.  He’s happiest when he’s out an about—preferably somewhere with lots of people and sounds and flashing lights.  I have learned that I, on the other hand, am an “outgoing introvert.”  I know, it sounds bizarre.  For the most part, when we’re in a group setting together I am the one venturing out and talking to people.  I love people.  I am very feelings/people centered.  Many tasks/goals fall at the wayside because of this.  However, I must confess that being around people kind of wears me out.  I’m happiest curled up on the couch watching a movie with Phil or during coffee shop conversation with a small group of close friends.  Now that we’re commuting a lot we have seen this come to a head.  On the long drive home from hanging out with friends Phil starts chatting up a storm.  To me, it sounds like he’s going 500 mph!  (With his words, not our van, although he has been known to drive fast and furious).  All the while I am trying to connect deep thoughts and internally process the conversations we’ve just had.  I can get pretty frustrated because I just can’t diffuse with all that talking.  I am thankful (I say this by faith) for all the ways that Philip and I are different.  I am glad that we are constantly forced to compromise.  I am glad that we have to sacrifice in order to meet each others’ needs.  It is so good for me to constantly be stretched—to constantly have to rely on the power of the Holy Spirit.  Marriage helps me be less selfish and for that I am continuously pissed thankful. :)

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